A break in the action
Between now and midnight (which is when the first results come in over here), I can either sit here and develop an aneurysm, or, more constructively, I can post some random odds and ends that I've had sitting around for a while. Fortunately for all involved, I've decided on the second choice. So, in no particular order ...
When I first arrived at my new apartment, the only thing waiting for me in my mailbox was a letter from my property manager telling me that someone would be around to fix a leaky radiator, and a bulk mail catalog from Ronja Versand. Ronja, as it is effectively known, is a retailer of the finer things in life: microfiber sheets, bath robes, and high fashion clothing for him and her. Best of all, Ronja delivers these products at very competitive prices. How do they manage to do this? By cutting out the middle man: products are shipped directly from 1993 to your door. Check out some of these dope threads.
Fig. 1: Having a tough time choosing between a dragon motif and tiger-print for the sheets in your babe lair? Problem solved.
Fig. 2: Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em!
Fig. 3: They have many different styles, so everyone in Tha Funky Bunch can sport a unique look.
The first thing you notice when you see my apartment is the front door. Not only because it's literally the gateway to my apartment, but also because it is crazy. First, it is big, ugly, and gray, which doesn't fit at all with the muted cream/wood colors of the building interior. Of course, it's a hideous color of gray because it's made out of industrial sheet metal, not wood. Also, it has a huge door knob in the middle of the door (hobbit-style) and big, metal circle on the left where the lock is. All in all, it is not the most welcoming door I've ever seen; it really looks more like something you'd see in a prison or bank. As ugly as it is from the outside, to really appreciate it you have to open it up.
Fig. 4: Between the many deadbolts and the long hallway that it opens into, my apartment is virtually impregnable.
As I have cleverly marked with the red arrows, the door has not one but SEVEN deadbolts. Four are located next to the normal latch, one above that, one below it, and a final one that goes vertically into to the top of the door frame. These are the kind of locks that you have if you live in the Bronx, in the 70's. Last I checked, the crime rate in Lausanne was fairly low and although my neighborhood has a definite "ethnic" feel to it, I would hardly call it dangerous or even slightly sketchy. Further, the fact that these doors are so "secure" is sort of countered by the fact that the main door to the building is practically zero security: if it happens to close properly (which it usually doesn't), all you have to do to open it is press the button labeled poste and push the door. This is a secret, though, so don't go telling any criminals.
As everyone in the building has one of these crazy high-security doors, they were obviously purchased by the management in bulk. Which leads me to the question: what kind of person decides to buy obscenely expensive doors for every unit, but doesn't buy a clothes dryer for the building? All I can figure is that the doors salesman/woman must have been one helluva looker.
I have a problem in my apartment: fruit flies. I've never really noticed these before in my life, but these little buggers are all over my new apartment. It's true that they don't bite, and in general they don't really pester you that much, but, man, to paraphrase my governor, they are some ugly mofos.
Fig. 5: If you zoom in, you can see their creepy looking red heads. GROSS.
I know what your thinking: Paul, you must be a slob. But no! I swear, my apartment is clean, there is no rotting food anywhere, and I don't leave crumbs or dirty dishes on the counter. As best as I can tell, most of the flies seem to be attracted by (gasp) Basil. So, obviously, I can't just "remove the source of the problem" as one might do under normal circumstances, so I need options.
I looked around on the internet and found a couple of home remedies. One suggested putting some white wine in a cup along with a micro-dab of dish detergent. The idea is that the wine attracts the flies, but the dish detergent breaks the surface tension of the water and causes the flies to drown when they land on the water, instead of float. This idea intuitively appealed to me, as it seemed grounded in solid physics, so I set up a small jar as instructed. Another recommendation was to put a piece of fruit in a jar, then cover the jar with cellophane. If you punch just the right sized holes in the cellophane, the flies can fly in, but they can't fly out. As I had some fruit, some cellophane, and another jar, I set this one up as well. My office mate suggested a bowl of honey, mixed with a dash of vinegar. He claimed that the honey attracts the flies and that the vinegar kills them. I told him that his entire setup confused me, because, well I've certainly heard about honey and vinegar vis-à-vis catching flies, but I wasn't sure that it agreed with his premise. Also, I don't have honey or vinegar at home, so I couldn't test his theory.
Fig. 6: Basil's future hangs in the balance.
This is a picture of the overnight results of the test. As you can see, the glass of wine seemed to attract quite a few flies, but only a couple actually took a swim. Since it only killed three flies in about 12 hours, it was not as effective as a paper towel or a rolled up newspaper, so I decided to call it off. The fruit in the glass has not yet attracted any interest from the flies. I figure I'll give it a couple of days to properly "rot" and we'll see if that makes any difference. In the mean time, I continue to hunt the flies myself and I, of course, eagerly await suggestions from my beloved readers.
Last Friday was Halloween, which I almost totally forgot about. No one here seemed to be to excited about it, and I don't think I saw a single costume on campus all day. Oh well. But, when I got home, there was a whole gaggle of kids in costumes milling about my building. I got super excited that for the first time in my life I might be able to actually give out candy to a kid for Halloween, but, of course, all of the candy that people have sent me here in Switzerland is sitting in my office. So, I ran down the street to the corner store, bought a bunch of candy bars (full-sized!) and ran back to my apartment. By the time I got back, the group of kids was gone, but I optimistically put the candy in a nice bowl (it would have been weird to give people candy out of a plastic bag) and grabbed my camera -- I wanted to be prepared. Of course, not a single other kid came anywhere near my building, so it was all a huge bust. Oh well. I didn't really have any good reason to post this, I really just wanted to mention Halloween so I would have an excuse to show a WAY TOO ADORABLE photo of my nephew in his costume.
Fig. 7: Although it wasn't as good a costume as last year (he was a baby Elvis), at least he went with Bob the Builder instead of Joe the Plumber.
Currently, the Man (and his mother and father) are in Rome. On November 12th, I meet them in beautiful Sion, Switzerland, and from there, I get to spend 4 full days with Alexander. It will be awesome. If I were you, I'd be jealous already. And, don't worry -- I'll take plenty of pictures.
When I first arrived at my new apartment, the only thing waiting for me in my mailbox was a letter from my property manager telling me that someone would be around to fix a leaky radiator, and a bulk mail catalog from Ronja Versand. Ronja, as it is effectively known, is a retailer of the finer things in life: microfiber sheets, bath robes, and high fashion clothing for him and her. Best of all, Ronja delivers these products at very competitive prices. How do they manage to do this? By cutting out the middle man: products are shipped directly from 1993 to your door. Check out some of these dope threads.
Fig. 1: Having a tough time choosing between a dragon motif and tiger-print for the sheets in your babe lair? Problem solved.
Fig. 2: Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em!
Fig. 3: They have many different styles, so everyone in Tha Funky Bunch can sport a unique look.The first thing you notice when you see my apartment is the front door. Not only because it's literally the gateway to my apartment, but also because it is crazy. First, it is big, ugly, and gray, which doesn't fit at all with the muted cream/wood colors of the building interior. Of course, it's a hideous color of gray because it's made out of industrial sheet metal, not wood. Also, it has a huge door knob in the middle of the door (hobbit-style) and big, metal circle on the left where the lock is. All in all, it is not the most welcoming door I've ever seen; it really looks more like something you'd see in a prison or bank. As ugly as it is from the outside, to really appreciate it you have to open it up.
Fig. 4: Between the many deadbolts and the long hallway that it opens into, my apartment is virtually impregnable.As I have cleverly marked with the red arrows, the door has not one but SEVEN deadbolts. Four are located next to the normal latch, one above that, one below it, and a final one that goes vertically into to the top of the door frame. These are the kind of locks that you have if you live in the Bronx, in the 70's. Last I checked, the crime rate in Lausanne was fairly low and although my neighborhood has a definite "ethnic" feel to it, I would hardly call it dangerous or even slightly sketchy. Further, the fact that these doors are so "secure" is sort of countered by the fact that the main door to the building is practically zero security: if it happens to close properly (which it usually doesn't), all you have to do to open it is press the button labeled poste and push the door. This is a secret, though, so don't go telling any criminals.
As everyone in the building has one of these crazy high-security doors, they were obviously purchased by the management in bulk. Which leads me to the question: what kind of person decides to buy obscenely expensive doors for every unit, but doesn't buy a clothes dryer for the building? All I can figure is that the doors salesman/woman must have been one helluva looker.
I have a problem in my apartment: fruit flies. I've never really noticed these before in my life, but these little buggers are all over my new apartment. It's true that they don't bite, and in general they don't really pester you that much, but, man, to paraphrase my governor, they are some ugly mofos.
Fig. 5: If you zoom in, you can see their creepy looking red heads. GROSS.I looked around on the internet and found a couple of home remedies. One suggested putting some white wine in a cup along with a micro-dab of dish detergent. The idea is that the wine attracts the flies, but the dish detergent breaks the surface tension of the water and causes the flies to drown when they land on the water, instead of float. This idea intuitively appealed to me, as it seemed grounded in solid physics, so I set up a small jar as instructed. Another recommendation was to put a piece of fruit in a jar, then cover the jar with cellophane. If you punch just the right sized holes in the cellophane, the flies can fly in, but they can't fly out. As I had some fruit, some cellophane, and another jar, I set this one up as well. My office mate suggested a bowl of honey, mixed with a dash of vinegar. He claimed that the honey attracts the flies and that the vinegar kills them. I told him that his entire setup confused me, because, well I've certainly heard about honey and vinegar vis-à-vis catching flies, but I wasn't sure that it agreed with his premise. Also, I don't have honey or vinegar at home, so I couldn't test his theory.
Fig. 6: Basil's future hangs in the balance.This is a picture of the overnight results of the test. As you can see, the glass of wine seemed to attract quite a few flies, but only a couple actually took a swim. Since it only killed three flies in about 12 hours, it was not as effective as a paper towel or a rolled up newspaper, so I decided to call it off. The fruit in the glass has not yet attracted any interest from the flies. I figure I'll give it a couple of days to properly "rot" and we'll see if that makes any difference. In the mean time, I continue to hunt the flies myself and I, of course, eagerly await suggestions from my beloved readers.
Last Friday was Halloween, which I almost totally forgot about. No one here seemed to be to excited about it, and I don't think I saw a single costume on campus all day. Oh well. But, when I got home, there was a whole gaggle of kids in costumes milling about my building. I got super excited that for the first time in my life I might be able to actually give out candy to a kid for Halloween, but, of course, all of the candy that people have sent me here in Switzerland is sitting in my office. So, I ran down the street to the corner store, bought a bunch of candy bars (full-sized!) and ran back to my apartment. By the time I got back, the group of kids was gone, but I optimistically put the candy in a nice bowl (it would have been weird to give people candy out of a plastic bag) and grabbed my camera -- I wanted to be prepared. Of course, not a single other kid came anywhere near my building, so it was all a huge bust. Oh well. I didn't really have any good reason to post this, I really just wanted to mention Halloween so I would have an excuse to show a WAY TOO ADORABLE photo of my nephew in his costume.
Fig. 7: Although it wasn't as good a costume as last year (he was a baby Elvis), at least he went with Bob the Builder instead of Joe the Plumber. Currently, the Man (and his mother and father) are in Rome. On November 12th, I meet them in beautiful Sion, Switzerland, and from there, I get to spend 4 full days with Alexander. It will be awesome. If I were you, I'd be jealous already. And, don't worry -- I'll take plenty of pictures.
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